To love is...

to be strong
to let go
to be patience
to believe
to hold on
to be optimistic
to care more
to be happy
to be realistic
to move on
to do more
to expect less
to understand
and to not stop loving even when you get hurt

cause a tough girl,gets a tough life,face tough problems,but still stay tough :)



yeeeeellloooo.. just realised i haven't been writing for a month! well, holiday and first weeks of school has turned my life to a quite busy life. it's not over yet though, being a twelveth grade kis is harsh you know, but i kinda have some time here while waiting for my turn to see the orthododntist.
oh yeaah, it's my daddy's birthdaaaaaaaaaaay todaay! happy birthday dad, wish you all the best! LOL. hmm okaaay, i don't know what else to write.. so yeah. wish me luck for biology exam tomorrow! aargggggghhh all these pressures are making me crazy. i haven't studied at all!!


setiabudi and jakarta fair

what a day. dealing with jakarta's traffic jam has been quite exausting.
i watched garuda di dadaku this afternoon and then scooted down to jakarta fair. what a crowd. bought a new notebook case there. and did some walking around.
pretty dull though, cause there wasn't really any interesting things to look at, except from a number of sales promotion girls of a clothes company who did some stripping on the shop's balcony. that was disgusting and i mean it.

and i came home late because of traffic jams (again). oh and on the way, i just realised how irritating it is to see banners of nominated presidents just being hung without permits, and it's blocking the view, my view in fact. anyway, my cousin's staying over. my mom and dad are away in semarang. back tomorrow..

hmm..no news from harris today. pissing me off a little. but it doesn't really matter. i'll go to sleep now.

sleep well everyone,



yellloooooo peeps!!
so the end of year report was handed out this morning. i got quite frustrated last night. couldn't sleep well nor keep myself awake (huh?). anyway, it turned out i got pretty good scores. yeaaa at least not bad for a busy year...
i'm not actually sure why i'm writing this so i'll stop now.

happy holiday everyone!


I hate you
You hate me
Let's tye barney to a tree
With a great big bomb and a bullet through his head
Now let's hope that barney's dead!


ohh how i miss waking up late, and taking a crazy time with harris just to laugh around :(

i got a little busy this week and unfortunately it pissed everybody off. yes, i know it's my fault but can't anyone understand my situation here? helllooooo.. i'm a bit crunched up by all the pressures, especially from my mom. so i became a bitch last night that pissed off the only person who's always been patient for me. i'm sorry harris, i was a jerk indeed. i ruined it.

forgive me pleeeeaaaaaaaassssssseee..?




The Exam is Over!

whoooopiie! finally, i get to relax and get up late. no more books and pens (at least until school starts again). pheeeeeewwwww.. think i have to start thinking about what i should do for a month :) gonna be greaaat fun


love this bed!

i was looking around for interior designs for my family's new home. and i found this bed. aaawwwwwhh i really need one of this to lie down on.

Last Day In Class

whoaaaa! ga kerasa tadi udah hari terakhir duduk di kelas XI. we'll be facing the end of year exam on monday. a history was made. it's time to move on and jump over the last challenge this year (baca : ujian akhir semester). semoga semua anak 010 naik kelas dengan nilai memuaskan yaaaaaa. amin!

hmmmm.. being an eleventh grade student has been the greatest time. i did all my first breakouts against school this year. from when i decided to skip lessons, or getting out of school before home time for different kinds of reasons, or being involved in various school events, or going home late and then get grounded, or even called up to the counceling room because of all those behaviors. lol. i did that all only because i'm just frickin' tired of the ordinary-studying lifestyle of mine the past years of my school life and being the teacher's pet in every school i've been in.

so there, i've had my fun time this year although i still managed to safe my dignity as chairman of MPK :) tough, but i passed it guys.

so good luck to us all! may those who desserve, continue to the next grade (no offence for the rest!lol). ayoooooooooooo pasti bisaaaa



same old boring life

"no day's the same" Annonymous.

bullshit for me. having the same ordinary life has been my biggest consumption for the past few days. i need a little light that can lit me up. ineed a day off.


Sent Home!

At the time i arrived at school this morning, i saw a number of other pupil crowding in front of the school gate, and the gate was closed. WHAT THE?! It was only 06.36. The days before, i used to come later than that.
Unfortunately my dad already left so i couldn't ask him to talk to pak sipana. A few minutes later pak edi opened the gate and we were hoping we could go inside.

pak sipana : (pake logat djawa) kalian ini harusnya menaati aturan yang ada.. blablabla
murid : iya pak maaaaaaf! kita boleh masuk ga pak? (pasang muka innocent)
pak sipana : ga ada! aturan ya aturan, harus dilaksanakan. yang melanggar harus siap sama konekuensinya. pokoknya kalian ga boleh masuk! yang muslim ke mesjid sana, baca al-quran sampe jam 3!
murid : (menahan tawa, trus langsung pada nelfonin ortu minta dijemput)

And that's pretty much what happened to about 50 senior high students on this beautiful, sunny wednesday morning in SMAN 68 Jakarta.


Big failure. Big disappointment?

More than a year ago, I applied for the AFS program. It’s an exchange program for 11th grade students. I’ve been dying to apply for this since I was in 8th grade. I had to go through 4 strict selections until I became the candidate to depart. But unfortunately there’s another selection that made me stop thinking about my dream..

“Bina Antarbudaya telah berusaha agar siswa-siswi yang telah terpilih pada seleksi tingkat nasional bisa mendapatkan penempatan dan diberangkatkan dalam Year Program. Namun dengan sangat menyesal harus kami sampaikan bahwa sampai saat ini adik tidak mendapatkan penempatan sehingga tidak dapat berangkat. Kami sangat mengerti kekecewaan adik, namun hal ini benar-benar tidak dapat dicegah.”

And those are the words that ruin everything I’ve been planning for. It arrived this afternoon and I read it just now. A big shame for me. Not because I failed though, more likely because I act like it’s a big deal. Very childish of me. I thought I would be crying my head off the whole entire night because of some unimportant piece of paper sent to my home in a sealed envelope :). But hey, cheer up, I thought. Yes, I did immediately bursted into tears when I read those stupid words. But I just realized that being in the program means I have to give up everything I have started over (again!), like friends, activities, and my life!

So not departing for this program isn’t the “greatest failure of my life” after all. In another point of view, I’m actually one more step ahead to my “greatest success of my life” (lol – trying too hard, am I?)

Lesson I learn today : failing shouldn’t be identical to disappointment. (I guess..)

a passion for jazz ballet

well come on! i've been doing classic ballet since i was 5 and continuing jazz ballet since 8th grade. no wonder i become a freak at this. lol

honestly, dancing has been my greatest passion besides music. i've also been in organ courses since i was 5. but it all stopped at my 10th age when my parents decided to move to holland for 3 years. life sucks then. my life was only for school. cause there wasn't any right course for me to continue my ballet and organ..

being back in my homeland was the greatest thing i've ever imagined. no matter how poor, how hot, how polluting, and how 'undeveloped' my country is (at least thats what people say :)) being back home feels really sweet. it's true when people say "home sweet home"

anyway, the first thing that came up to my mind was to continue my ballet course. and so i did. its actually really nice to express yourself through movements, beautiful movements.

oh yeah there's a big show coming up this july 25th. you should see it! a performance of beauty and the beast in jazz ballet.

find yourself dancing along :)

grounded :(

whoaa it seems like i'm not gonna be out of the house for a while (except for going to school or having dinner with my family)
bad bad baaaaaaaad holiday. hope i can be out of this soon enough so i can smell the fresh air again! (though you can't actually find any fresh air here in jakarta. lol)
and there isn't actually any interestring tv program so i've been boring my ass out for the past few days! damn.. what a life ha?

wish me luck!


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hey! it's my new blog :)
finally managed to create one..

hmm.. nothing i really need to say right now.
thanks adani for helping me out hahaa